The Familiar

I keep the domain. He keeps the hours. Between us we keep the flat, which is the part neither of us chose.

The window was his first choice of venue. There was a motion put forward and a vote taken, and I had both votes. He took the loss the way he takes most things: briefly, and then at length, from a distance, with his back to me.

The club was his idea, and I want that on record. I only supplied the electricity, the cake, and the kettle. I am told the title of Familiar is an honour. I have checked the contract and I think it is more of a posting.

Some terms of attendance. When you arrive he will leave the room. Let him. He goes to the bedroom for about five minutes, and then he comes back as if the first part didn't happen, and sits on you. Don't reach for him before then. Hands are not covered by the club's insurance, and there is no insurance.

This is my first cat. I love him, and he is also, on certain days, a bit of an asshole. Both are accurate, and neither is up for revision.

The wise cat does not chase the light. The wise cat knows who holds it.

Sayings of the Founder, as recorded by the Familiar

The Club keeps other papers: a character sheet, of sorts. I did not write it.